self-realizations pt. deux
I don’t deserve my friends.
I’ve talked about this before, but now that I’m back in the Bay Area for winter break… I feel even worse about the horrible job I’ve done at staying connected to my friends here.
I think I subconsciously intended (does that make sense?) to distance myself from everyone at home. I selfishly, solely concentrated on my life and goals and didn’t take the time to show my friends support for theirs. Hell, I didn’t even acknowledge that they existed for most of the time I’ve been in New York.
I was never the first one to call, text, message, comment, tweet, etc.
And even if I was contacted by someone, I rarely ever… probably never… responded.
Who the fuck am I?!
I don’t deserve to have such beautiful people in the Bay who still love me and welcome me with open arms. I haven’t been the best of friends… but I know I have the best of friends. They’re so amazing that I’m sure that whenever any of them read this… they won’t know it’s about them. I apologize to my friends for being so distant, giving so much attitude, handing you so much bullshit… and just not being there. If I were you, I would feel unloved and unappreciated and just… taken for granted. And I’m so so so so sorry.
I love you.
Even if you don’t think I do. 
